Keanu and Goldblum told me they wanted to see something funny up on my blog since it had been a while and since I didn’t have anything on the tip of my tongue, I decided to steal a survey from Logan and fill it out. Hope you guys enjoy.
1. How long do you spend in the shower? About 15 minutes – though that could be cut down again if I ever get back to shave my head again.
2. Name something a football player wears under his uniform? Most guys wear shoulder pads, sometimes a cup and thigh pads, maybe even protective padding around their ribs. However, if you’ve ever seen “The Last Boy Scout” you’ll realize that some guys holster a pistol just in case they can’t shake that guy down the sideline.
3. Name something people hate to find on their windshield. Notes that say “Sorry I bumped your car, have a good one man.”
4. Name something a man might buy before a date. I guess if he’s feelin’ froggy he could buy some condoms, but I’m a pretty conservative guy. I just go for the dental dam.
5. What’s another word for blemish? Hmmm, perhaps an unsightly pimple on wedding day.
6. Something you’d cook in the microwave. Hell, what can’t you cook in a microwave these days? Seems like you can cook steak and shit in there now. The best though are the Lean Cuisine pizzas where the cheese bubbles over and becomes one with the box.
7. Name a piece of furniture people need help moving. I’ll tell you, a sectional couch is a bitch.
8. Name a reason a younger man might like an older woman. There’s plenty of reasons for that, especially if she’s a hot high school sexetary who sunbathes out on the front steps on her lunch. Just sayin’.
9. Name something a dog does that embarrasses its owner. Um, nothing? Seriously, dog owners are like perpetual infant parents. Anything the dog does is like the cutest thing ever. “Oh, look, he peed on your ear – that means he likes you!”
10. Name a kind of test you cannot study for. That damn defensive driving test those bastards give you after too many tickets.
11. Name something a boy scout gets a badge for. Fellatio?
12. Name a phrase with the word ‘Home’ in it? Homestand…booyah
13. Name a sport where players lose teeth? Well, women’s basketball is pretty BADASS so that must be it.
14. Name something a teacher can do to ruin a student’s day? Having a ruler thrown at me usually sucked pretty bad.
15. What is a way you can tell someone has been crying? If they keep sniffing like they just did a couple lines, that’s a dead giveaway.
16. Name something found at a Séance? Desperate people
17. Name a bird you wouldn’t want to eat? Big Bird – that’d be frightful for my psyche man
18. Name something that gets folded? A rectangle school pizza
19. Name something a person wears even if it has a hole in it? Guys underwear. Yeah, come on, we’re guilty. Girls do it too, though, but usually only if they’re absolutely 100% certain they’re not hooking up with anyone that night.
20. Name something that gets smaller the more you use it? My patience.
2 responses so far ↓
Logan // March 5, 2008 at 8:32 am
Dental dam, eh?
ZING!
Brent // March 5, 2008 at 5:20 pm
I like folding my school rectangle pizzas too! They were so tasty.